The Treasure of Squeaky Toy Island
All gathered around Captain Snoopy. Being careful to make sure Ernie the Red wasn't listening, Captain Snoopy whispered, “Lash me to the mainmast.”
Shocked, Bowsun Frankie said, “Cap'n, 'tis foolhardy!”
“Lash me to the mainmast, or ye tail will be mizzen!”
Reluctantly, they lashed their Captain to the mainmast, just as Blue Platinum Island came into view. Through the storm, they heard a furry maiden call out, “Ship Ahoy!”
From the mainmast Captain Snoopy yelled, “Furmaids! Keep on course, Bowson Frankie.”
“Shall we answer their hail, Cap'n?”
“Are ye daft? It'll mean certain drunkenness! And they'll take our squeaky toys faster than Ernie the Red. Especially the one they be callin' Tasha! She's Queen of the unstuffed stuffed Squeaky toys!”
“I've heard of her. She unstuffs squeaky toys faster 'an Puddles can eat a bag o' Cheetos.”
“How shall we evade them, Cap'n?”
“Squeaky toys are me downfall! If ye keep me away from the helm until we've passed, I'll not fall into their trap.”
Just then, they heard the strains of a song coming in off the wind. A terrible rendition it was, but it summed up the wishes of all.
Tasha covered her ears, and said, “What's that awful racket?”
“'Everybody wants to Rule the World'. You know, Tears for Beers.”
“Fears. Besides, that's not a furmaid song. Like this: Soft Snoopy, warm Snoopy, little ball of fur, happy Snoopy, sleepy Snoopy, grr, grr, grr.”
Tasha then took a squeaky toy, put it in her mouth, and said, “Now, you sing, and I'll squeak.”
As the ships drew nearer to the rocky crag, Captain Snoopy's crew began to decipher the words, and they all stared at him. With a scowl, he said, “The first swab who laughs is getting' keelhauled!”
Frankie climbed up the ratlines to get a better view. Muffin loooked down from the crow's nest, and said, “What gives?”
“Cap'n Snoopy's downfall is squeaky toys. Tasha knows that, and she's trying to lure him to shore. The Cap'n is trying to use the sound of the squeaky toys to throw Ernie the Red off our scent.”
“That won't be easy. He's a scent hound.”
“Aren't we all?”
By now, Blue Platinum Island was close abeam on the starboard side. Captain Snoopy thrashed about on the mainmast, trying to break free and follow the beautiful music. But his loyal crew were excellent at marlinspike seamanship, and the ropes held.
As they passed by, Frankie watched from up in the rigging, keeping his eye on the tiny island. In the gloom he could just barely see the piles of Cheeto sacks, beer 6-packs, and squeaky toys, but he could sure hear the music.
He then looked aft, and saw Ernie's longship gaining. Ernie was still posted near the bow, but from up in the rigging it was impossible to tell if he was listening to the music or not.
Muffin looked down, and said, “Does Ernie like squeaky toys?”
“I sure hope so.”
Suddenly, they thought they saw a light sweeping the sea off the starboard quarter.
“Is that Squeaky Toy Island light?”, Muffin asked.
“Nay. Wrong direction. When we do see Squeaky Toy Island Light, she'll be dead ahead.”
“I hear something.”
“Where?”, Frankie asked.
“Off the Starboard Quarter.”
Frankie turned his ear towards the stern, and said, “I hear it, too.”
“What is it?”