The Treasure of Squeaky Toy Island
Ahrrrr! 'Twas a dark and stormy night aboard the pretty good ship Rawhide. Aft on the wagging fantail stood Captain Snoopy, a steady paw on the helm, guiding his edible...ah venerable craft over the sort of choppy waves.
Not your typical sea dachshund, (mine, maybe, but not yours), Captain Snoopy was still no stranger to a good sea battle. He and his furry crew had just narrowly escaped plunder by that most feared of Wienerkings, Ernie the Red.
As the ship rolled, Captain Snoopy showed no fear. Good thing he'd packed his thunder shirt. Between howls of wind, and the howls of his crew, Captain Snoopy could just about make out the dark furry figure ascending the ladder-well.
Holding a free paw above his eyes, Captain Snoopy bellowed, “Advance and identify yeself!”
“Captain, 'tis I! Frankie LaFoot, the four-foot Pirate!”
“Ahoy Bowsun Frankie! I trust our booty is safe in the hold!”
“Aye, Captain. We're in the teeth of a boomin' Gale!”
Far up on the prow, the paw-carved figuresnoot Anna Rose stared into the endless sea, her brown, paw-painted eyes seeming to say, “Daddy come catch me!”
Back on the fantail, Captain Snoopy said, “Bowsun, muster the crew!”
Frankie tried several times to hold the silver pipe with both paws, but after failing on the third attempt, he simply raised his snoobido, and cupped his paws over it as he howled “Ah, oowh-ah!”
Chains rattled around necks, and paws trod across the decks. Captain Snoopy looked down, and said, “Ahoy, mateys! There's fixing to be a gale tonight, but we have to reach squeaky toy island tonight, before Ernie the red! Navigator Muffin, what's our next landfall?”
“Blue Platinum rock, Cap'n.”
“Ahr! Ye didn’t say Blue Platinum Rock?”
“I did, Cap'n.”
“Hold your floppy ears, mateys, or we're going aground!”
Frankie held his paws to his ears, and said, “We'll be blue-beered for sure!”
Many miles away (okay, the other end of the pond) was the craggy islet of Blue Platinum Rock. Here lie the home of those dreaded of all sea creatures, the flop-eared fishtails, also known as the furmaids. These beauties of the sea would lure unsuspecting mariners to a terrible fate on the rocky shore. And if they thought that was bad, next morning's hangover was even worse. Never mix light beer with Cheetos. But I digress.
Upon the rock sat two fine maidens of the sea, Tasha and Puddles, keeping a sharp lookout. Well, okay, Tasha was keeping a sharp lookout, while Puddles tested the beer and Cheetos, making sure they were “safe”.
After licking her cheesy paws clean, Puddles opened another blue-bottle beer, and said, “You need one?”
Puddles looked at her watch and said, “No, quarter to eight. So, any ships in the area?”
“I see something.”
“What do you see?”
Tasha squinted through her spyglass, and said, “I can't tell. It's too small.”
“No wonder. You're looking in the wrong end.”
Embarrassed, Tasha spun the telescope around, and said, “Now, that's something!”
She handed the scope to Puddles, who looked through the eyepiece, and said, “I see it, too.”
“What is it?” , Tasha asked.